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Já idoso, César realmente se irritava com as histórias sobre ele e o Tio Mário

Caio Júlio César, JVLIVS CÆSAR ou Macho de Cleópatra foi o imperador alfa do Império Romano. Nascido numa família de convicção sexual chamada Juliae, ele teria chegado à ascendência, segundo a lenda, através de amigos sua descendência (jura?): Enéas e de Vênus.
Júlio tinha um tio pedófilo chamado Mário que Mário?, grande puto general de guerra e líder do grupo de rap Facção Central, chamados de populares, em oposição aos seus IiNniMmIiGgUuxX OoDdIiAaDdUuXx, os optimates, tudo acabou se dividindo como uma pizza de oito pedaços na Somália. Em 86 a.C. iniciou-se uma guerra civil que colocou Lúcio Corno Súlia no poder, ajudado pela Rede Globo e que matou o Mário (que Má... ops!) e iniciou toda a carreira do nosso importante (?) imperador romano.


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